


Pop Culture

by Nina_683



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Non JYP AU, they're still idols just not in jyp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 09:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14517630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina_683/pseuds/Nina_683
Summary: When Seungmin rejects JYP in favour of a smaller company, he doesn't expect all the troubles that come with it. Even more than that, he certainly didn't expect Lee Felix.





	Pop Culture

Seungmin is exactly 18 years, 5 months and 10 days old when he decides he hates his life.

He sits cross-legged in their manager’s living room, ramen cups littered around them, the only thing besides junk food they can afford to buy. Even the flow of cheap, store-bought ramen is thinning, and Seungmin knows they can’t keep this up for much longer.

He looks to Felix, hair unwashed and unkempt, drooping into his eyes as he feverishly scribbles into the notebook in his lap. “Felix.” Seungmin sighs, catching the boy’s attention. “Will it ever get any better than this?”

A truck roars past the window as Felix levels his gaze, the glow of the green light colouring the contours of his face a sickly neon. He shrugs, arm slipping slightly to reveal the words he had been writing onto the paper. Seungmin leans forward, but it’s a stream of large English words written in capitals that he can’t understand upside down.

Seungmin sighs again, knocking his head back against the flaking wall.

#

IHATETHISIHATETHISIHATETHISIHATETHISIHATETHIS

#

He doesn’t know about Felix, but Seungmin joined StarProduction Entertainment because it cost the least money in entry fees of the prospective companies. He’d been accepted into JYP, but the trainee loan was a ridiculous amount of money that his parents couldn’t even bear to look at, so he joined StarProduction instead.

The staff were brilliant, helpful and kind, and the artists under the label (little though they were), were incredibly supportive. Seungmin loved it, loved the company and the freedom of singing everyday. There was one problem: money. StarProduction were in embarrassing amounts of debt, so as soon as Felix arrived, stuttering with barely a Korean word in his vocabulary, they were set to debut as a duo.

Seungmin remembers every excruciating detail of their debut. 

It was a misguided techno-pop song that had about 8 different genres inside it, supported by cringy lyrics about partying and girls. Seungmin’s mic doesn’t work on their first stage and he has to sing so loudly to be heard that he loses his voice until the next morning, throwing the earpiece off the stage about halfway through because it’s fucking useless.

Felix messes up his rap, stumbling through it in a mishmash of scattered English and Korean and accidentally drops his mic, feedback screeching across the studio. It’s a disaster.

They're a disaster.

Seungmin cries himself to sleep that night, tear tracks on his pillow winding their way down to the JYP acceptance letter crumpled in his fist.

#

They try again, they have a comeback three months later.

Seungmin prefers this one, a softer, more relaxed song that complements his light voice. Felix enjoys it too, and they have fun recording, messing around with vocal runs and riffs.

“You're not unhappy you can't rap in this?” Seungmin asks one day as they're preparing to go to bed, wiping the BB cream off his face.

Felix shrugs, fiddling with his phone charger. “Nah, not really. This song is more for you, you know? I don't mind, your voice deserves to have a spotlight on it.” He explains absent-mindedly, cursing as the wire breaks.

He gets up from the bed to rifle through his suitcase, and Seungmin can feel his cheeks growing warm from the compliment.

“Y-you too.” He stutters, but it goes unheard.

The promotion cycle lasts a week, one of their performances occurring at Music Bank. They can't afford to promote at other venues like Inkigayo or Show Champion, but they have fun on the stage, dancing in the rain of confetti sticking to their skin in the aftermath. 

They hand signed albums out to an uninterested audience and hang around for Twice’s encore stage so that Seungmin can dance with them on the corner of the stage, Jihyo running after Felix, trying to persuade him to join in with them to no avail. It’s brilliant, and Seungmin wouldn’t trade this warm, glowing heat in his chest for anything.

Seungmin passes Wonpil in a tight corridor on the way out, and immediately takes his jacket off so it has no chance of being contaminated by anything else. 

“I'm never wearing this jacket again.” He mutters, gripping it between his fingers with ferocious intensity. The jacket is the best the stylists could afford to buy, scratchy and roughly-sewn, but now, it’s priceless to Seungmin.

Felix laughs fondly, pushing back the younger boy's fringe. “What're the stylists going to say, huh? They’ll want it back.”

He pouts, holding it closer to his chest. “They can't have it, I'm hiding it. It's mine now.” Seungmin insists, cradling it protectively.

Felix laughs again, covering his mouth.

Seungmin gently reaches up, bringing his hand down. “Don’t do that,” he admonishes, “stop hiding your smile. I want to see it.” He states matter-of-factly, holding the boy’s hand still.

Felix stills, eyes wide. Seungmin realises he’s still holding onto his hand and quickly drops it, blushing furiously. “I mean, only if you want to.” He mutters, staring concentratedly at the cracked ground.

There’s a moment of awkward silence, before Felix starts laughing again, and when Seungmin looks up he can see the full curve of his lips and the crinkle of his eyes, hands by his sides. Seungmin grins at the sight, looking away shyly as their car pulls up.

#

“We're bankrupt.”

The CEO sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose .“We couldn't delay it any longer, Cube and JYP have been calling for their money back, and we,” he looks up at the duo, “we couldn't pay it back.”

In a way, Seungmin supposes he shouldn’t have been surprised. They always knew that their future in the company was uncertain, and how tight the budgets were stretched, but he still didn’t imagine that the end would come so soon. 

In the corner, a cordi-noona sobs quietly, wiping away her mascara with a streaky tissue.

“You can have one last song.” He states, clasping his hands together. “A disbandment song.” He clarifies, gazing up at them in sympathy.

Next to him, Felix closes his eyes and Seungmin wonders if he should pretend to ignore the droplets shining at the end of his lashes. Something splashes into the divot of his pale collarbones, and he feels up the trail to his eyes, fingers coming away wet.

He guesses that he’s not much better.

#

Seungmin watches Felix scribble into his notebook, blonde hair drooping lazily over the paper. His fingers itch with the urge to tuck the strands behind his ear, but he doesn’t want to ruin his concentration.

“You got any lyrics yet?” He asks, yawning. The analogue clock ticking on the wall reveals the time to be 3:30, but they can’t go to sleep till they’ve come up with some lyrics for their disbandment song.

It still chokes him to think about it, that he’ll have to leave everything he’s worked so hard for. They don’t have many fans, but he wonders if the ones they do have will be shocked by the news. No- not shocked. It was a likely outcome.

He hopes they’re upset, which he knows is selfish, but is it so wrong to yearn for some acknowledgement for the career he’s worked so hard for?

Felix sighs, flipping a page. “Nope.” He replies easily, scratching his hair absent-mindedly.

“Then give it here.” Seungmin orders, reaching over to grab the book from his lap. “I'll write something quickly so we can go to sleep.”

The other boy nods, hand coming up to his mouth to stifle a yawn. “Don't stay up too long- no one's going to listen to the song anyway.” Felix states bluntly, burrowing himself under the blanket.

“I won't.”

He looks on as Felix brings the pillow closer with an impatient tug, breaths settling almost immediately as his eyelashes flutter closed. His cheeks are hollow, freckles all-too-dark against pale skin, hair lank as it slides off the edge of the pillow.

I must be crazy, Seungmin thinks absently, I must really be out of my mind for still falling for him.

Felix rolls over, muttering unintelligibly.

Seungmin smiles, putting pen to paper as he listens to the boy murmur.

#

He hands the finished product to their manager in the morning, stumbling off after shoving the notebook at his hands, collapsing on top of Felix's prone form.

He sleeps till noon, and is only woken up when the curtains let warm streams of light through, onto the ridges of his face. There's an ache in his body, a tiredness that plagues him as he awakens, settling in his bones.

Unadulterated despair.

He's given up, and so has everyone else in the cramped apartment.

Seungmin drags himself to the kitchen table, dodging one of the manager's children on his way. He digs out an old box of Cheerios from the back of the cupboard and glumly fills a bowl to the top, hating the taste dissolving in his mouth with every spoon.

Still, he keeps eating till Felix returns to the apartment, face flushed from the winter air. His eyes are brighter than they've been in days, Seungmin notices as Felix hurriedly removes his scarf, and he grins happily into his Cheerios.

“What's that smile for?” He asks, watching Felix hang his coat up on the teetering hook.

The boy beams wider, sitting down at the chipped table after ensuring that his coat was in no danger of falling. “Nothing really, I was just talking to the producer and he said he really liked the lyrics, and would have a track for us by next week.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrows, dropping his spoon back into the milk with a splash. “Really? That's so soon!” 

Felix nods excitedly. “Yeah, he says it would be kind of a slow, melancholy type. Maybe a bit of piano, you know, the kind of stuff you like.”

He did indeed adore his slow songs, though he isn't sure he wrote it for a ballad. He didn't really write it with anything particular in mind- not the music, or the dance or anything- apart from Felix.

He looked at Felix and wrote and wrote till his palms were smudged with ink and the sun peeked above the horizon.

“What did you write it about anyway?” He asks curiously, leaning back on his chair.

Seungmin doesn't answer, smiling lightly as he pours more milk into his bowl.

#

It's a hit as soon as it's released.

Seungmin doesn't know how, but the Korean public loves the ballad so much it goes to #1 on some music charts for a few precious hours, before being demoted by Twice's new title track.

He hears someone describing it as ‘frighteningly similar to their own experiences’, and thinks he can understand why it got so much attention. Most people have been in love at some point in their lives, yearning for that person that holds the stars in their eyes and the galaxy in their smile.

Seungmin put his raw emotions, his pure, unadulterated feelings into that crumpled piece of paper, and it had resonated with millions of people. 

They ask who the song is for, what he was thinking while he wrote it, but he never gives a straight response.

Because standing there, Inkigayo trophy in hand, he has the muse by his side, arms wrapped tight round his shoulders. He doesn't want to, or need to justify that to anyone.

They'll just have to keep guessing which girl group member he's in love with, and meanwhile he'll work on the oblivious case that is Lee Felix.

That's for later though.

Right now is for Seungmin and Felix, Felix and Seungmin, a duo to go down in history. 

(Seungmin is exactly 18 years, 6 months and 2 days old when he decides he loves his life).


End file.
